To Kill or Be Killed… To Love or Be Loved

When Lily was four she punched a six year old friend of Jake’s in the chest for ripping a toy out of Jake’s hand. “Don’t touch my brodder” she announced. That kid never came back to our house.

Lily was miserable and on the outs last year when the mean girl hormone torched attitude was sweeping the fourth grade. Lily started to play alone at recess. Without thinking Jake pulled his sister into the boy dominated kick ball game and announced “Hey, my sister is all time pitcher.” No one disputed it. Lily was pitcher until the end of the year.

Yes, my kids are tight. I grew up an only child. So this brother/sister connection is a complete mystery to me. I observe their interactions like a ethnographic researcher trying to learn a new Pygmy language. I am shocked by what I see at Target. I might as well be in some Papua New Guinea jungle.

I am amazed when I go to other people’s houses. I once asked a mother of an intense sister and brother combo, four years a part, if she wondered that her older daughter might just go into her young toddlers son’s room and put a pillow over his face while he slept. The venom between siblings astounds me. Jake’s buddy wrote in his yearbook that his greatest hope for the future was that one day he could crush his sister. Hmmm… Ted Bundy in waiting???

I’m curious my dear friends. What’s your relationship with your sibling/siblings like? Comment below.


5 thoughts on “To Kill or Be Killed… To Love or Be Loved

  1. What a beautiful tribute to your son this blog is.

    Hhhhm, my two children sometimes have a love/hate relationship: the older 17 yr old daughter is easily annoyed with her 10 yr old brother and loves to “push his buttons”, but the arguments are short lived and seldom physical. He cherishes hanging out with her and she often lets him tag along when she and her boyfriend run to the convenience store for an evening’s supply of junk food that can never be found in the house or for a game of miniature golf. This past summer, she traveled for 17 days through New Zealand and Australia and we were all veer touched to receive her first postcard which stated how much she missed all of us and an admission that she missed her brother more than anyone else.

    She can also be fiercely protective of him often telling him that she will visit his elementary school to “beat up” the bullies. My husband loves to recall the story from a
    couple summers ago, we were anchored in a bay in the Sea of Cortez and both my son was swimming while my husband scrubbed barnacles from the hull. My daughter and I were hanging out in the cockpit? Suddenly, my son begins to scream in pain? Before either my husband or myself are able to react, his sister bolts into the water to his rescue, never minding for even a split second what might be causing her brother this excruciating pain. Turned out that he had become entangled with a man of war
    jellyfish. We were all amazed at her fearless mobilization to defend her little brother whom she usually would complain about.

    So anyway, thanks for bringing me to this reflection. I look forward to reading more of your commentaries.

    1. Glad your digging the blog. I’m doing one everyday for the next 359 days until Jake’s Bar Mitzvah. The collection will make up a book that I will give out at his Bar Mitzvah party.

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